I happened to come from a 3 days, 2 nights retreat of our church during the long weekend. The retreat, entitled Refresh: Life As It Should Be, has the objective of letting the participants, facilitators and workers encounter Jesus and what life should be in a refreshing way. I would be telling more about Refresh in a separate blog.
Why did I mention about Refresh? Actually, during the retreat, the organizers put up a white board with many colored envelopes with all the names of participants/facilitators/workers stuck on each of them. The wall was called “Encourage a Friend Here”.
I personally do not know a lot of people in the retreat. So I did not expect to receive too many notes in my envelope.
But I actually received five (5) notes! Four out of five were all from people I know not of and they happened to be almost anonymous. Aside from the 5 notes, I received a chocolate bar as a bonus! 🙂 (I do love chocolates!)
I don’t plan to write about those letters not until today as I am commuting my way from the office to our home.
As you see, I am a phlegmatic-melancholic type of person. I am usually silent and in deep thought. I am also a “steady carabao” person, according to Jayson Lo’s Younique personality test. In short, I am easily discouraged and dissuaded to do things by so many factors outside my control. I admit, majority of these factors are surely petty, shallow and mostly, baseless.
I started my day today cheerily as I was still pondering on the lessons I learned from the retreat. Also, before the workday started, I pre-decided in prayer that today will be a day that I will glorify God in everything that I do. But as the day almost ended, my feelings of cheer and happiness were being slowly eroded by the steady current of disappointments and depreciation at work.
As you see, my love language is time and appreciation. Circumstances in my office allowed my light-hearted aura to elude me completely by nighttime that I almost found it very difficult to even smile. My manager does not even seem to appreciate the work I am doing nor my team does not even appreciate the effort I put in being there for them in every little concern. (This may sound a bit off for you but that is just the way I feel and see things.) As I continue to ponder on these thoughts, many more moments in the past where I was not appreciated came rushing through my mind. Overthinking so clouded my mind that I just want to go home and sleep the sad feelings away.
But really, God has a way of orchestrating things for us. Just when I was about to board the bus going home, a thought, or rather a picture, came to my mind:
I remembered that one note I got from someone I do not know. Frankly, when I got hold of the letter, I just laughed with the idea that someone has actually written me a letter telling me that I am important. Maybe she saw that I got no letters in my envelope? Maybe she has written many of these notes and placed them to random envelopes? I do not know.
But now, I sensed a great relief! It was through this note that God reminded me of His love and assurance. The note coming into my remembrance even rebuked me into falling deeply into the dark pits of satan’s lies that I am unimportant.
I am important. Just like you, you who are reading this blog.
I am important. Not because of the things that I did, but because of what Jesus did. I am important.
I am important. Not because of the things I am capable and skilled to do, but because of what God can do. I am important.
I am important. Not because of the people who told me so, but because Jesus told me so. I am important.
You see, it is easy to fall back into a deep remorse over one’s self-esteem. It is easy to just accept and cave in with the things that the world tells you who you are. But, isn’t it easier to just rest on the palm of Someone who knows who you are and what you can do? Shouldn’t it be easier to cast all your doubts of self-importance upon the One who is most important?
To you, jenarroyo, who wrote me that very short but compelling note, thank you.
With this, I go back and rest with the God who knows me not because of what I did or said but because He is my Maker. My Creator knows me. And my Savior tells me, lovingly:
You are important. You are important because I loved you even before you even learned how to love me back. You are important no matter how many times you have failed me. I will not be disappointed with you. I know you can stand up again because I am here to carry you. You are important.
You are important. Have you tried counting the strands of your hair? I know you can’t but I tell you that even the numbers of your hair is accounted for! That’s how important you are to Me!
You are important. Even though there are times when you cannot feel my love and you cry yourself in anguish and despair, I was actually there counting the tears from your eyes. I keep a bottle of your tears so you will know that I value how you feel. You can cry on My shoulder. You are important.
You are important. Do you remember that I even died for you? I carried the cross and accepted the nails that should have been for you. I did it not because I knew you cannot bear it but because you are important to Me. And that is how great My Love for you. You are important to me.
Who would not cry joyful tears with these beautiful promises? Now I know and will always remind myself, I am important. 💓