You deserve to hear the words “I love you.” No more, no less.

I am speaking as a young woman who is tired of hearing conditions rather than bold statements of love. I don’t know why, but I keep encountering men who will show their attraction to me yet further down the hill, points me back to a reference.

I am tired of hearing people say, “I love you, but…”

…but we are too young.

…but I am still not ready to commit now.

…but only as a friend.

…but I love her more.

It makes my heart break into shreds of confusion when I hear these kind of statements. Why in the world am I not always good enough? Do I always have to measure up to men’s standards just to receive the affection I need? Am I really not worth pursuing for who I am?

I admit that I have cried tears too many times before because of this. I even remember being hurt by the one man I really liked when he told my friends about me, “Kat is wife material but…” 

These moments are past me now since when I have surrendered and recommitted my heart to Jesus. But certainly, there are still days when the enemy keeps pushing his dirty, little lies to me. I am affected at times. But I still remember that above all these acceptance and validation that I am searching for in this world, I matter to the One who really loved me for who I was, who I am and who I will be.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my motherʼs womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. (Psalm 139:13‭-‬18 NIV)

I choose to see these “I love you but…” statements as a way to improve myself but I will never use them as a yardstick to measure my worth. I am already loved and accepted for who I am. I am fearfully and wonderfully crafted by my Maker. My God is thinking of me always. My God loves me, as is, where is.

Ladies, they say you accept the love you think you deserve. But I plead to you, you accept the love that is unconditionally given to you. You are far worth more than the empty and calloused words of men. You deserve a statement more than a conditional phrase to measure up. 

You deserve an, “I love you.”

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