I am not good in waiting.
Patience. This is one of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) that God is working in on me. I easily tire and give up on things especially when these take a very long time to accomplish, be revealed, changed or given.
There are many things in my life now that I am eager for God to move and act. As the Bible tells us to wait upon the Lord, I am called to wait and seek God for His answers. As the acronym goes:
The hardest part in most seasons of waiting is the silence. It is the silence in the gap between our prayers and the answers that tires and wears us down. It is during this silent period that I usually give up and do things my way.
My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. (Psalms 62:1 NASB)
If you are like me who have done a good mess of my life because of the choices I made when I chose to get ahead and in the way of God, you would likely come to a point in time when all you have is desperation. In my desperation for God to change my circumstances, I cry out to Him. My soul waits in anguish for His Hand.
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently For the salvation of the Lord . (Lamentations 3:25-26 NASB)
But an idea struck me one day: What if in all my waiting, it is actually God who is waiting on me for so long?
This point led me to reconsider how I live my life now. It has turned me back to rethinking about the things I have been praying for. This thought slowed me down and helped me to reevaluate my heart.
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! (Isaiah 30:18 NIV)
In Isaiah, it speaks of God “longing” or “waiting” to be gracious upon us. But this idea of a waiting God is also echoed by the verse “blessed are those who wait for him!” This is gold!
I realize that in so many of the things that I have been praying for God were actually good things. However, what keeps, possibly, God from bestowing me those things is the condition of my heart.
I am not waiting for God. I am waiting for the blessings only.
See, God is a good father who will never withhold us good things. But if we desire the gifts more than the Giver, this is almost tantamount to sin. Rejecting God and setting our eyes on the “good” of this world is sin.
Like a father who knows that he must wait for his child to reach legal age and learn how to drive before gifting him with a car, God knows perfectly the exact hour when I am ready for the things I am praying for. As long as my heart’s desire is not in His will, I will always be boxing through the wind.
Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. (James 5:7 NASB)
In the times when I almost despised God for taking too long to answer me in my waiting season did God showed me that it is actually Him who is waiting on me. My Father is waiting for me to desire Him first above everything else. My Father is waiting for me to be in the best position to receive His blessings.
How about you? Are you waiting on God? Or is He waiting on you?