I am writing this to all women who are currently hoping to be married, swept off their feet and carried away by a knight in shining armor riding a galant, white horse.
If you are a man and you are reading this, may this blog arrive to you as a challenge to man up.
The whole thesis for this article is this: Don’t sit around waiting for a man to come.
It has been a burden of my heart recently to write about this waiting concept. If you are a single woman (like me), what does waiting mean? How do you wait for something you are hoping for?
Recently, I have been on the receiving end of so many single women who pine and moan about waiting. They are the women who desire to be in a relationship, to get married, to finally heal from a broken heart or to move beyond an unrequited love.
Until when should I wait? I don’t know.
Why is he not arriving yet? I don’t know.
What’s taking him so long to pursue me? I don’t know.
Am I ugly? I am sure you are not.
When will my life start? You were already born years ago!
Waiting is an attitude. And attitude defines what lifestyle you are living. Our life is a consistent picture of waiting for almost everything. We do not get things all at once. The beauty in waiting is found not in finally getting what you wanted but is found in the process–sometimes short, but most often long and overdue.
When you have waited for something, you treasure it so much when the thing finally arrived. The value of the thing hoped for lies not entirely on what we get but is appreciated because of the pain, endurance and prayers sowed during the long process of waiting.
In the Bible, I tried to glean how the women who were blessed with godly men as husbands waited. And I discovered one thing that shook my entire idea of waiting. It dawned upon me one day that I was waiting wrongly.
Live a normal, God-centered and God-glorifying life while waiting. Your life is not on hold nor the pause button is pressed when you are single. Do not believe the lie that you are not complete until you find your “better half”.
In Genesis 24, we read the account of how God richly provided for a wife for Isaac. We saw how Abraham’s servant knew that Rebekah was the suitable wife for his master’s son. He prayed to God that the girl who will graciously extend him and his camels water to drink, be the wife of Isaac. And as we saw in the text, he was not disappointed.
“Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ Genesis 24:45 NIV
Master your own craft while waiting. Live out your calling. Be the best in whatever thing God equipped you to do. Be the best version of yourself that God imagined and planned you to be.
Suppose that Rebekah only sat all day in her home, waiting and doing nothing but pine about when her husband would come. Would she be able to receive this God-written love story? Definitely no! Rebekah lived her life normally, doing the very mundane things. She saved herself for the best. Who knew that she would one day be the wife of Isaac, whose lineage traced back to Abraham, the father of so many generations?
So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Genesis 24:20 NIV
Rebekah was not just a beautiful virgin. She did and mastered her chores well. She knew how to fetch water. Her hands were strong enough for work. She used her strength to serve her family. She used her strength to help others.
Your life is not on halt until your man finds you. Be the best in your profession. Write stories. Continue your education. Pursue missions. Open your own business. Explore the world. Evangelize the world. Serve. There are a lot more things to do in life that God called you to perform while single. Don’t waste your time thinking about what you do not have yet. It will come, in the right time, when you are right, if God wills it.
Polish your character while waiting. As Andy Stanley said in his sermon, when you get married, most of the problems encountered are not marital problems. Most of them are relationship and personality problems. What happens when two problematic people marry? Disaster! Who said that “love will keep us alive?” Relationships take work. And it takes tremendous time and practice.
After she had given him a drink, she said, “Iʼll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” Genesis 24:19 NIV
It was already Rebekah’s character to serve and help. She did not know that what she was doing was already an acconplishment of the servant’s prayer. But she only did what was natural to her. And she was rewarded.
See, you will not get married without preparation. Marriage takes work. As such, the only to prepare for a great, future marriage is to prepare for it while you are single.
Ladies, Adam will not miraculously fall from heaven when you pray for him. Isn’t it more beautiful that when Adam finally notices you, you are so fully alive in your God-given potential that he can’t help it but pursue you in love?
Just as Boaz noticed Ruth as she was set to work in the fields, you have to be doing your purpose in God. Adam or no Adam, your greatest reason for this season must be to glorify God. Who knows, your Adam must have been working in the same field as you…
Waiting is not just a passive act of standing still and not doing anything, looking every minute in your wristwatch, counting the days, peeling away the pages of the calendar. Waiting should be an active act of doing the reason God called you to do for a certain season, but still wearing an expectant but rested heart.