I will not promise to make you happy because I know I cannot. Only Jesus can do that. I will not promise for you to find your joy in me. I also will teach myself now not to find my joy in you. Only Jesus can do it.
But what I am committed to do now is to love you. I will love you even when I don’t feel like it. I will commit to love you even during those times when I am doubting if “you” exist. I will commit to love you even during those times when I am doubting if “you” will come. I will love you even when you have your bad days. I will love you even when you are at your most unloveable seasons.
Dear future husband,
I want you to know that I still believe in love. I believe in finding meaning in my life. It excites me to think that in this planet I am walking on, with its dusty pavements and cold evenings, something exciting and warm exists. It excites me to think that there is “you.”
I knew it from the old tales that my mother taught me. I believed in “once upon a time.” I believed in “they lived happily ever after.” I longed to be swept away by a strong, handsome prince riding a white horse. I longed to be finally captivated by your strong arms. I longed to be treasured by you.
I knew love in the way my parents cared for each other. I realized what love is with the passing of the full years between them…
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