Dear Lord,
I am full of fear now.
I just realized that no matter how frequent I say and believe Your words, “Fear no more,” being in the actual situation of fear made me rethink of my faith in You.
I am fearing the unknown. I am fearing the uncertainty. I am fearing being detained in this 14-day waiting room. I fear being sick.
I fear cancer.
I fear death.
You know my heart, Father. You know how I saw in my eyes Mama’s ended battle with cancer. You know how I vowed after her death that cancer will no longer have a hold on us.
But Lord, you see my pain now. You see how I ache and endure this pain in my lower left abdomen. You see how I contort my position in futile attempts to ease the physical pain I am bearing.
You see how frustrated I am with the medical results and the doctors’ diagnosis. You see how helpless I am dealing with lack of clear declaration of what this pain might be. You see how I dread realizing that as this pain progressed for almost a year, increasing gradually, I have the same symptoms as Mama.
You saw the tears my eyes shed after seeking another doctor and it was just the same: they still can’t figure it out what is wrong with my body.
Selah
I don’t know of any other way to end my prayer to You but by praising You for who You are, what You have done and what You are going to do.
You are the God who parted the Red Sea for Your people. You are the God who turned water into wine. You are the God who walked on water. You are my God.
And I am Your child.
I can only let my heart believe and trust now that Your plans for me are good. Cancer or not, sickness or in health, life or death, I will still trust.
I can only ask for Your will to be done in my life. And grant my heart peace that will transcend all my understanding. I know You are with me in these 14 days. What an amazing journey will it be!
In Jesus’ Name I am praying this.
Amen,
Kathy
May God grant the godly desires of your heart โค
Just found your blog (you liked a post of mine ๐ ). And I found this prayer so beautiful. Please keep us updated. Will be praying for you Kathy. I have gone through some health issues the last year or so that reminds me of this post. I wanted to share one with you: http://maidarise.blogspot.com/2015/01/silly-scribbles-how-i-was-first.html. God bless you!
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Thank you for sharing this and for being vulnerable… and for the reminder that we are to praise God regardless.
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Thank you for the encouragement! ๐
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What a beautiful, heartfelt, HONEST prayer. I will also pray for you.
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Thank you alora ๐
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Katherine,
Sending prayers. I see His strength in your weakness and am confident you are shine His light, though all seems dark just now. May He comfort you, releave your pain and bring goodness from this difficult place. I pray for answers for you and hope.
Wendy
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Thank you so much Wendy! Sometimes, when we pray, we just reassure and remind ourselves of God’s goodness and sovereignty so we can have peace, right?
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Yes, that is true. I like the.way you put it. Reminding ourselves for sure. You are a mighty warrior. May He use you to plant many seeds.
Wendy
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Thank you Wendy! I will be reading your writings also. ๐
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๐๐ Thank you. May God bless you, new friend.
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